This is one of the books I would say I am very grateful to have been encouraged to read. Kim Ji-young, Born 1982 is a book written by a South Korean woman and it has definitely gained a lot of popularity worldwide. In this book we follow our main character, Kim Ji-young, living a seemingly average modern Korean life. She is a married, stay-at-home 33-year-old mom who focuses a lot of her time and energy on taking her of her child. However, she starts having some dissociative episodes that start to worry her husband. She starts to almost become a different person every day, personifying women that she knows from her life. If she is seemingly living a normal adult life, what drove Kim Ji-young to this point of ‘insanity’? Was it adulthood? Motherhood? Or are there deep-rooted experiences in her upbringing that lead her to this psychosis? This book talks about those everyday horrors that women go through and are just seen as “ordinary” experiences. It touches subjects of misogyny, gender roles, social expectations and motherhood. In this review I would like to talk more about the different elements of the book that makes this story so powerful.
As a young girl, Kim Ji-young is unable to understand why her younger brother gets treated differently than herself and her older sister. She, however, does not really question this but just sees it as normal. Throughout her life, there will be uncomfortable situations that seem to happen very naturally as if we just had to accept that sexual aggressions are just part of our everyday life. The third-person narrator in this book helps emphasize this commentary that microaggressions are so normal in a woman’s day-to-day life that they can almost pass unnoticed. As a reader, it definitely does not pass unnoticed, as the shock while reading these experiences is real. It is as if you were watching her throughout her day, living a seemingly average life, and then suddenly you have to pause, go back, and really think, did that just happen? I think the narrator and tone used in this book is very effective. Cho Nam-joo does not really throw in very traumatic, big shocking events in her story, but she describes the everyday microaggressions and it really shows how pervasive it is and how these aggressions happen every single day. The neutral, unemotional tone of the narrator highlights the banality of Ji-young’s everyday life experiences and how systematic misogyny is truly embedded in our society, without us noticing it most of the time.
The historical context in the book is also a very important aspect that allows us to further understand Korean culture and where this comes from. Showing how Kim Ji-young’s mother and grandmother's generation treated them as women and how that treatment later influenced how they acted as mothers is very insightful. It does really show the generational trauma and consequences of that. From Ji-young’s mother and grandmother’s experiences, we can see how certain standards are formed and passed on to the women in the next generation. The book highlights the subtleness of how these standards are imposed in women. A stranger might come up to your face and tell you directly that these are the set of rules you have to live by as a woman, but there is a lot of gossips, talking behind your back, and even direct comments from family members that lets you know that what you are doing is ‘wrong’. For instance, Ji-young’s older sister's example of wanting to study media in University but having to choose a more ‘stable’ career for a woman, which would be becoming a teacher. From my personal experience, being half Korean and having been surrounded by the Korean community growing up, there has always been a lot of subtle social pressure in South Korea. There is a certain ‘mold’ or standard everyone wants to fit in, and even though I was not born in Korea or lived there, I have first-hand experience of the social pressures put on Korean women. Kim Ji-young definitely fits this ‘mold’, but as we can see, she is not truly happy. How many women in the world have had to give up their dreams, and settle for something lower just because of the social expectations of their gender?
I think the most important thing about this book, and why it makes it an internal bestseller and has been translated into many languages, is that the experiences that Kim Ji-young goes through are not just specific to Korean culture or even the generation. One very strong point in this book is that author Cho does not only write a fictional book that seems to represent the experience of a lot of women in South Korea. She backs up those experiences with studies showing statistical evidence of the existence of those experiences in women. This is very important because Kim Ji-young is not just a case study, but she is a representation of a larger population. Ji-young’s story may come as a shock for a lot of people reading the book. It is truly heartbreaking to read. Most might be thinking that Ji-young must have gone through a lot of trauma, but the truth is, Kim Ji-young is the embodiment of the average typical Korean woman, which means that WE have gone through a lot of trauma too. Even though some of the experiences relate specifically to Korean culture, I am sure that other international readers could also relate to many of Ji-young’s experiences. Her loneliness, helplessness, sadness. Moments where we had to just stay quiet, moments where we had to adjust and adapt because of men in society. This book has such a strong feminist voice and it is evident that a lot of international readers appreciate that. This is what, in my opinion, makes this such a strong book and the reason why it has been read and loved by many people.
Overall, there is a theme of helplessness. It was absolutely saddening to see how Kim Ji-young often suffers in silence and the fact that there are thousands of women who have experienced the same helplessness and lack of support from the society around them. Kim Ji-young tries to break from the path set by her society but she is unable to because she is criticised for it. For instance, when she has to give up her full-time job to become a mother she struggles to find a meaningful and fulfilling part time job and it just seems like society is against her. Or when she is criticized for wanting to have a cup of coffee in the park in the middle of the day. We can also see the helplessness in the character of her husband. He wants to help but he does not know how. Life for them is so ‘normal’, they are doing exactly what other people from their generation are doing, so why is there something wrong with Kim Ji-young? Of course, the only thing he thought would help her was seeking professional help. In the book, the husband goes to a psychiatrist to ask for advice and the doctor says she is having postpartum depression, which would suggest her discontent is due to the stress of being a mother. However, I would argue that her discontent started even before she was born. Her existence, from the beginning, marked the failure of not having a son. I was very shocked to see that the sex-selective abortion rate was that high in South Korea.
The ending, of course, was very impactful and it brought tears in my eyes It was a very clever way to show the obvious cycle going on in the sex gender differences issues. The story closes with Kim Ji-young’s psychiatrist showing to be part of the problem. As a psychology student aspiring to be a counsellor, this absolutely saddens me. As a half-Korean I am very aware that mental health and mental disorders in Korea are still very stigmatized. I personally have some friends living in Korea who would rather not get professional help in the fear of being labelled as having a mental issue. I am also so disappointed about the many mental and medical fields in Korea, myself having experienced some microaggressions while visiting the doctor’s office when I was younger.
Kim Ji-youn, Born 1982, is an amazing social commentary. From beginning to end, Kim Ji-young’s story is absolutely impactful and heartbreaking and as a woman reading this it made me realise that in my own life I have experienced a lot of these microaggressions that I just overlooked or had to be quiet about. I hope more men and women read this book and start to reflect on our everyday actions and lives and be able to stand up for other women and end the cycle.
Kim Ji-youn, Born 1982, is an amazing social commentary. From beginning to end, Kim Ji-young’s story is absolutely impactful and heartbreaking and as a woman reading this it made me realise that in my own life I have experienced a lot of these microaggressions that I just overlooked or had to be quiet about. I hope more men and women read this book and start to reflect on our everyday actions and lives and be able to stand up for other women and end the cycle.